Monday, July 23, 2012

Lost Found

I lost my wallet today for a short while. Someone stole it but couldn't seem to find what she's looking for. I didn't have any money and credit cards in it. So, she threw it away. Fortunately, she didn't dispose it somewhere too far from the place where I think the stealing took place -- it was inside a store. The shop keepers held it before I came to retrieve it back.

For a moment, I wanted to cry. I was careless. I had been careless for too many times in my life. And now, I am traveling with my mom and brother in a tour across Europe -- I am responsible for the money keeping part -- and I lost my wallet. "How are we supposed to proceed with our journey? We haven't taken some cash out of the ATM." I thought.

Moreover, besides the disappointment to myself, I was more furious than ever. I kept rhetorically asking myself, "HOW did that happen?". I was vigil. So many times I remembered  telling my brother and mom to stay close and watch each other backs and bags. But truth to be told, I was the one who was reckless. Very reckless.

It was no way that I can say grace, or praise. I kept blaming and shouting; taking all my anger out. How in the world, one could do such a low deed of stealing. It is shameful!

In my hopelessness, I let go. I tried to prepare myself for the worst case scenario: dealing with banks and the town hall for issuing new debit card and residence permit. I didn't worry too much about card blocking or anything like credit card frauds. I didn't have any credit cards. At some points, before the wallet was found, I started to push myself to say thank you.

I thought to myself, "It should be the only right time to say thank you to God. Not only for his goodness but also for his works that are above and beyond my imaginations and expectations."

This incident reminded me that I don't own anything. Everything that I seem to have is not mine. It is the creator's. Whenever he wants to take it away from me, he is able and in full right. I don't have the right to claim that it's mine. It hurts to lose something that seems to be mine; how short the possession time is or to lose something that my heart grows super fond of. But ultimately, as I grow content in what I have and not in what I don't have. I do have everything!


No comments:

Post a Comment