Saturday, July 23, 2011

Pain in Love

Sarah: "Why can't you say anything? One thing to make this feels better (sobbing)."

Therapist: "There are no shortcuts, Sarah, in life or in love. This pain must be felt. The alternative is much worse. It's what makes us special, what makes us beautiful, what makes us worthy. That pain of how we love. Now, that pain is accompanied by something else, isn't it? With your pain there is hope. And that's where you are; somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer. So, you're human."

~Brothers & Sisters~

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


Fundamental equations that sum my life:

Me + God = Perfect Combo
Me - God = Total Loser

As far as I can remember, my success(es), my victories, or my achievements always include God. Well, what I did was simply acknowledging Him on what I do by praying along the way, thanking Him for everything, having fun and enjoying the moment, and trusting Him to guide my path. In many cases of my life, that works!

It's kinda funny whenever I remember those moments when I wanted it to be perfect but things just turned in opposite way. While the ones that I say, "Let's do it. Let's see what it's gonna be. I don't have any idea but let's enjoy the adventure. Do my best. Pray first (God first)." become the Moment of moments of my life.

I am not saying "let's just be reckless and see what tomorrow brings without planning or even praying first" but it is more on the joy of trusting God in every step of the way. As a Friend, He wants to be in every decision we make (well, why not, He has all the wisdom, very great reinforcement). As a Savior, He knows how to make it work (so, why don't we include Him, in our planning?).

More and more blessings for us!!!

Proverbs 3:5.

Out of Dust

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of dust

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

Chorus of Beautiful Things by Gungor.

Since yesterday, the lines of this song's chorus has been written on the wall of my room. And just this morning that I had time to stare at the words and thought of what it could mean.

I happened to be vacuum cleaning my room yesterday and I had this bag-less cleaning machine which I find very convenient -- I can see transparently if the dirt container is already full or not yet and I don't have to worry about looking for the right type or size of dirt bag for the vacuum cleaner ever. And while I was throwing away the dirt from the container I saw dust residing besides all any other dirt type you can think of.

Yes, the small, almost invisible, dirty-making, go-to-trash-bin-, worthless particle, that is dust. Yet, if you see beautiful men like the ones in Gay Parade or beautiful women like the mermaids in Pirates of Caribbean 4, they are all from dust. Only God can make something so beautiful out of dust.

Well, I believe, beauty isn't limited to visual beauty only. I normally find beauty in food, music and lyrics, arts, books, movies, sciences, landscapes and other things that don't cross my mind at the moment. They feed my sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch senses.

One thing about beauty is that it is enjoyable. Like art it might not be for everyone but there is a group of people who has similar perspective in looking at beauty. This group of people is the ones who would be able to enjoy that beauty the most.

I also would like to say that God is also beautiful. He is the most beautiful -- well, if you believe He's the one and only source of beauty. And if we are called His sons and daughters, shall not we have traits of beauty in our blood? I suppose, we do.

So, let's make your world and my world a more beautiful place to live today. Each of us has the seed(s) of beauty inside us! Grow it and share the fruits with others! Else, write a poem, compose an encouraging speech, arrange a song, make a movie, shoot a portrait, curve a sculpture, brush a canvas, bake a bread, fry an egg, build a bridge and sing a song!

God beauty out of us!

Sad Saul

What made David different than Saul?
Were not both of them chosen by God to rule over Israel?

Take a look at their story in 1 Samuel 8-16. I believe, the revelation will be so big for each of you personally. Like it is for me.
", God bless.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Parking Ticket

520 West Ash Street is where my Campus is located. It isn't 30 minutes drive away from the city but it is right in the heart of downtown San Diego. And like in any other metropolitan cities, parking system is very limited and expensive. The less expensive ones are available for shorter time meter, which means that after 1 to 2 hours the parking meter has to be recharged and the car has to be moved somewhere else. If not, the parking officer would be more than happy to tag the car with a yellow envelope enclosing a parking violation notification or the ticket.

It was after class this afternoon when a friend of mine and I saw the yellow-so-hateful envelope clipped beneath the car's wipers. It wasn't expected. He was convinced that he'd had the meter filled up and he even had moved the car to a different place.

Too bad so sad. There isn't many options that we have when a ticket is issued. To go for appeal, we need to have evidences (which in our case, we might not have sufficient ones). Moreover, it would be so frustrating and time-consuming with all of the paper-work. The simple way out would be to pay the charges.

Anyway, it was my first time holding the "blessed" ticket with my own hands. My mistake or not, I was angry -- we did anything that we could do to obey the law, but in return we were issued a ticket -- and what I want to do the most was to tear up the ticket. I assumed that by doing so we could erase all the issues surrounding the ticket from our memory and from the now-heavy-and-dark-air and come clean.

As we drove home, the whole ticket problem clicked me on the concept of forgiveness. I was guilty -- maybe not just with my parking charges but with my other transgressions and short-comings. But Somebody had paid my charges in full and set me free. He took the ticket from my hand and tore it; and now the ticket has no power on me.

And just by imagining that I didn't have to pay off the ticket anymore, I was so relieved.

Well, I and my friend still need to clear the parking charge, but I believe, I won't have to worry about my other "charges" for Christ had dealt with them around 2000 years ago. He took all of my guilt and shame to the cross and nailed them there so that they would bother me no more. So when the time comes for me to face the Judge, I will be confident that I am not guilty for any charges for I have been redeemed.

What a marvelous sacrifice.

Security Check

Beep, beep, beeeeeeeeppppppp......

"I am sorry, Ma'am, you forgot to take of your boots. Please put them under the scanner and re enter the metal detector gate."

I believe, anyone who has ever had a flight would have experienced undergoing a security check. It's troublesome and time-consuming. But it is necessary for the safety of all passengers and crews in the flight.

A discussion in the class about separating professional matters from personal matters brings me to write this reflection. I do believe that the two matters are inter-related but not sticky; meaning it can be separated and therefore be dealt individually without disturbing the former matter.

The key is that there should be the thin red line, the filter paper, or the security gate which would remind us that it is time to be a professional (my definition of professional is someone who makes a difference in the workplace, is a part of the solution and not the problem and brings positive influence and atmosphere) and to leave the personal matters which won't do any good to anyone in the office or field at home.

And I was so struck at what I'm reminded of. Prayer. The red line is a prayer. The filter paper is a prayer. The security gate is a prayer.

I used to take time to sit for a minute or more to pray before I leave my house to school. In case when I forget to pray I would murmur my prayer when I cycled my way. Over time, the murmur more often had been forgotten. Well, in university, the time when I do have to go to classes isn't as fixed as the time when I attended high school. So, I didn't want to say too much prayers, I thought.

However, today, I realized that I am missing something powerful. By not saying my prayer, I often forget my place. I am at school but my heart and my mind are at home. And I am not being professional or productive at times like that. Friends, colleagues and professors could feel it that there isn't any spirit in me and my presence didn't make any difference.

So, I hope, now that I am now aware of the power of prayer. I would always make use of it and make everyone's day a better day because I'm in the house. Yay.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Green Light. Walk.

The time on the 5th Street trolley station's board was showing 9.47 a.m. when I impatiently stopped my bike to the traffic light in front of me. I was running late to church and I hated to wait for the sign to turn green. Maybe if I were the me of a-few-years-ago-before-that-accident-happened I would have passed through the stop light.

It was an evening after school. I peacefully cycled my way home. Like what I normally believed --that the roads in the Netherlands were safe and the drivers were very cautious and reasonable-- I confidently and carefully crossed every red lights which were slowing me down on my way. I felt that there were just too many traffic lights.

One last traffic light before I reached home, I was convinced that I had to stop. And I did brake my bike and stopped. What happened next was very eye-opening. I witnessed a car crash just before my eyes. It was like a few seconds ahead of me. I thought, if only I didn't stop on that last traffic light. I would have...

So, back to 9.47 a.m. this morning, yes, I stopped. In that cross road, my stress level raised pretty fast. In front of me there was this very long trolley (a.k.a. metro) blocking my view to the traffic light; I didn't know whether it was red, green or yellow. Well, I let it go. I knew it was green but I couldn't go yet for the trolley was still in front of me and not just blocking my sight but also blocking my way. And after my precious next few seconds the trolley left soundly. But, what a coincidence, behind it there was another trolley coming to the station. Ugh, I almost exploded.

Thankfully, I didn't explode just yet. I succeeded in calming myself down and the second trolley wasn't as long as the first one, therefore I could pass the cross road. Foolish me, getting angry at a traffic light, wasn't me? Well, it seemed like it. But I might have learned something diamond-worthy this morning.

This is what I learn: my turn will come. It doesn't matter how long, what's blocking my way, and how annoyed I could be, there will be a time for me to WALK for it's my GREEN LIGHT. I hope, we all have a little more patience to whatever we are reaching for and working for.

Friday, July 8, 2011

The Sweetest Portion of the Day

It is when I close my eyes and feel deep inside my heart that I am loved.

It is my new friends, best friends, brothers, sisters, family and especially the Ultimate Creator who had made my day. I pray til tomorrow comes we'll be united in the love of all loves, the love of God.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Passed Halfway

Hi Everyone. It's July! We are officially in the last half of the year. And I just want to write my afterthought. Hope we all be in our own life-calling's track!

Have we lived 2011 more with regrets or with accomplishments?

Come on! We can still make 2011 counts! ;)