This morning, after writing my NuttKraPy section, I listened to a sermon from the Hillsong London Podcast. The title is Nobody's Perfect by Luke Brendling. For two days in a row, I encountered this word 'wrestle'.
If I'm right, Brendling says that when we wrestle with God, we won't win.
Yesterday, I read Genesis 32. The story of Jacob returning to Canaan and going-to-meet Esau scene. His wives, children and flocks were across the ford of the Jabbock already and he was alone on the other side. A man whom he later thought was God came to him and they wrestled til daybreak.
It seems to me that the fight ended in a tie before God threw Jacob's hip out of joint. Jacob's named changed to Israel which means God-wrestler and Israelites don't eat hip muscles to this day.
I wonder if Jacob was afraid. He was going to face Esau, whom he cheated and robbed before he fled to Laban's place. Approximately 20 years had past and he never had had any contact with his only brother. Jacob was betting all he had: his possessions, his wives and children and even his life for his meeting. The fact that he stayed behind after sending his wives across the ford could mean that he was going to run away, run back to Laban's place.
Anyway, why did he have to wrestle with God? Did God just come to him and say, "Jacob, spare with me, it's been sometime since I've fought with anybody". That's less likely to happen. So, Jacob must have something else in his mind that would make God came all the way down to him and had to fight with him.
It is most likely that he wasn't convinced enough that he had to return to his father's place and go back and face all the mess he created 20 years behind. This time with no support from his mom. He feared that he's not going to be able to escape from the consequences of the trouble he made and got out of the situation alive.
So, that's why he's acting weird: all mellow, hopeless and away. But just at that point of doubt, God came and made him stronger. And, praise God, yes he didn't win the wrestle but then he was stronger and ready to move on, to face all his biggest fears, uncertainties and worst-case possibilities and to receive the promises God had given him.
May Love love you all. God is love campaign.